Wednesday 14 May 2014

Thinking of you in a clear bright night sky.

Ahh~ now the time is 3am in the morning. Tonight the moon shine so brightly in the clear dark sky. It seems like every cloud at the sky had disappear. It makes me reminds me of my worry and sadness. How good if every worry and sadness like a cloud, disappear without a trace, just left behind the clear of mind. But it ain't happen to me. Because of my sorrow heart still remain the same.

Dear baby, when I looked up in the sky while admiring the peaceful night. I was thinking of you. Wondering how are you lately. It's been so long since we last seeing each other. I have so many things that wanted to talk to you and share with you. I so wanted to know your stress and worries. For me, I haven't change at all, I'm still loving you so much, every night I dream about you, even I'm saying your name while I'm sleeping. The day without you is just too quite for me, everything had change, every corner of my world had become more spacious, become empty. My feeling is like what I'm seeing at right now, silent night. Even the sound of the wind moving along is silent. It's feel, so lonely. 

No matter how long I've waiting, I will still wait for you. I won't give up on you so easily. I know you will not seeing this, but I will still keep on writing, until the day is right, you saw this on your own. Till then I might just the same person as now, thinking of you and missing you in my heart.

Wednesday 23 April 2014

7 Things that woman need from their man.

A woman really doesn't want much from a man.
There are really only seven things – seven qualities that she’s looking for in a life partner.
Although these qualities are hard to find, they are qualities of which every man is capable.
These seven things are not out of any man’s reach, yet the fact is that most lack at least one.

Now, you may like to argue that no one is perfect and therefore no one has all seven of these qualities, but that’s just not true.
There are plenty of men out there who are sufficient in each of these categories,
not perfectly, but sufficient enough to make a woman incredibly happy. That’s all that matters, right?


1. Honesty – but not too much of it.
A woman doesn't want a man to lie to her about important matters.
She wants to be an important part of his life – the most important part, in fact.
She wants to know the things that are going on his life and she wants him to have trust in her.
As far as she is concerned, they are one – his life is her life.

She wants him to want to share in his pleasant experiences and memories.
She also doesn't want him to feel that he has to lie,
because when that is the case it usually means that he was stepping out of line, making poor choices and mistakes.
On the other hand, she doesn't want the truth in all circumstances. Brutal honesty isn't wanted.

If she asks, she looks great, she looks beautiful, the fact she gained 15 pounds doesn't bother you,
her new haircut makes her look even cuter. Now that I think about it,
the only thing you should really lie is about such shallow matters as appearances.
We all look like sh*t sometimes – but she doesn't need to hear you say it.


2. Understanding – so that she doesn't feel the need to have to explain herself.
She wants you to know her – inside and out. Why? Because only then will you love her for her.
We all sometimes need confirmation that we’re worth loving.
The real us – not the people others perceive us to be.
We may not all need such a confirmation of our value, but we all want it.
But it’s more than just that.

Having someone understand you is having someone completely know you for the person that you really are.
There’s no confusion, there’s no misunderstanding or misconception.
They know you for you and because they know you for the person you really are, you, in a sense, exist outside of yourself.
As long as they live on, so do you.


3. Caring – she needs to know she matters to you.
To be cared for means not to be alone in this life.
Most people are forced to care for themselves and the truth is that it’s a lot more difficult than people let on.
As human beings, we aren't always in the right mindset to care for ourselves.
To top it off, that’s usually exactly when we need the most caring – when we aren't mentally or physically capable of doing it ourselves.

She wants you to be there for her when she needs someone, to be there to share her burden.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but she wants you to make her life a little easier.
Craziness – I know. On the upside, she’ll be there for you when no one else will.
Fair enough trade off I think.


4. Strength – both mental and physical.
No woman wants a physical weakling – it’s against her nature.
That doesn't mean she won’t settle for slightly less than Herculean, but you’re a man dammit.
She wants to feel that when she’s in your presence.
She wants you to be intelligent and to practice self-control simply because you can.

We’re all still animals and women will always be attracted to the stronger men.
She wants you to be strong not for the sake of being strong – she wants you to be strong for her.
It brings her pleasure, makes her feel safe and turns her on. Do you honestly need more convincing?


5. Compassion – shows her you’re capable of loving.
A woman doesn't only want a man to have love only for her, but a love for life, for living things.
She wants a kind man, a man whom others will look up to, appreciate and admire. She wants a good man.

She doesn't see being good and compassionate as a weakness. And that’s because it’s not.
I know lots of men are taught that to be strong you have to be hateful, spiteful and malicious.
That’s very unfortunate, but it’s simply the world we live in. She doesn't need that.
You don’t need that either. No one does.


6. Security – financial and literal.
You don’t need to be a millionaire. Well, for some women, you very well may need to be,
but hopefully you’ll only end up with one who admires the traits required for turning oneself into a millionaire and not the money alone.
Generally speaking, the right woman will love you for you, but she does need you to make her feel secure.

She wants to feel that you will protect her from physical harm. She wants to know that you’ll keep her safe,
healthy and comfortable. Does she need you to keep her safe? To bring home the bread? No.
But she’d like you to be capable of it – even if her salary is bigger than yours.
She’ll have your back too so you can rest easier as well.


7. Blind Loyalty – she wants to be the only woman he has eyes for.
We all have big egos – men and women alike. We want to feel special. We want to feel unique and better than the rest.
We’re competitive by nature and there is no getting around it. Women want a man who sees the world in her.
Her and only her.

She knows she’s not the most beautiful or smartest woman in the world, but she doesn't need to be – she’s not delusional.
She just wants you to think – know – that she’s the most beautiful, best woman in the world for you.

She needs you to think she is the best thing that ever happened to you.
She wants to be the best and she wants a man who will allot her that title.

3rd day without you

BB Stephenie Chua,

Today is the 3rd day I'm living in a world without you. Last night I dream about you. We were still a happy couple in dream, its seems like everything never happen before. I was so happy till suddenly my alarm sound and I need to force myself to wake up. I just wish that I won't be waking up and keep on dreaming about you. As a wise man once say, happy moment won't last long. As I always do, the 1st thing I wake up is starting to miss you. So wanted to message you and call you. But I know reality is harsh. All I can do I just kept all this feelings to myself. The whole morning i was trying hard to make myself busy from working and hopping that i wont think about you for a second, but i cant control myself from thinking of you. i kept on thinking, how are you today? how do you feeling today? eat already? if eat already, will you eat enough? how is your leg wound? will you take care of the wound properly? have you think of me? are you missing me? every second passed just so slow. its seems like the world has suddenly spin much more slower these few days. I had lunch in a normal lunch hour. I don't even have a good appetite. I just ate a bit of the food in the plate, while missing you for the whole time. I feel so sad. I keep on thinking are you had you lunch also? Were you keep doing your work and forgot to eat? I use up my whole lunch hour sitting at there looking at my phone. I read all the history message that we chat with each other everyday from the day we start. For once, I was smiling while reading how lovely and sweet we are. But then I feel wanted to cry, because its not the same anymore. Till I finish my work, how I deeply feel that I wanted to find you. But I can't, because I knew  if I did that, you will feel like I'm quite annoying. I felt so deeply sad and moody, then I called 1 of our friend. I asked her to sing karaoke with me, I just hopping to release all the sadness of today out. But all my plan has failed, because she had her own plan already. I went back home, lying on my bed, still keeping on thinking of you and missing you so much. I skipped my dinner, listening to radio, hopping that the dj's can make me feel happy for a bit. But I feel like, everything that I see, I regain every sweet moment that we had been together. Example, while I'm listening to the radio, my memories hits me with that time I was fetching you out together on your offday and we were sitting in a car listening to it. It's not only listening to radio. Yesterday I passed my Tropicana mall. I went in and walk around, when I passed by the Nando's restaurant. I saw myself sitting on that table with you while chatting happily and we were still caring for each other. I just cant stand this anymore, i went put from my house and go to cyber cafe, hopping to release some stress in it. Yes, I keep win in my game, but I can't feel the happy feelings at all. I feel so lonely, I feel in this world, I'm the only one that have left. I feel so alone. I wanted to cry hard. But my tears just can't flow out. My heart had been crushed into tiny pieces just like dust. I drove my way to PJ area sitting alone and have some beers just to make myself drunk and forgotten all of this for a moment, but I just can't stop missing you. Did you know that I'm still love you? Were you still feeling the same? I keep on lying to myself that deep inside you, you still have the love feeling towards me. I look into my phone again, I see back all the picture that we took together, every moment that we had spent together, it's just a lovely feelings. On the day we broke up, I told myself that I will wrote a "I miss you" words when I'm missing you. For today is the 3rd day. I had been wrote more then a thousand times "I miss you" words. I keep on telling to myself that deep inside you, we still loving each other and caring for each other. While I'm writhing this, my tears are flowing bit by bit, I don't care other people saw it. I had my 6th bottle of beers, sitting alone in a cafe while looking at the table we normally sit, across this cafe is another cafe that we went before and a bank. It's remind me how sweet we are on that day. It just make me wanted to cry it out loud. The music that I'm listening in my phone is "I'm still loving you". The lyrics really make me cry, because it says every words in my heart. 

I just hope that you were still missing me and love me somewhere inside.

I miss you bb and I love you. I really do. I just can't live my life anymore without. It's hurt so much

Sincerely,
Your ex bb Shaun

Monday 9 May 2011

Life is unpredictable...

Sometimes it's kindda sad when you know someone that's very important to u n that u care so much is going to leave this world... It's like u feel so soulless n full of disappointment for yourself that u didn't done any good things or listen to the words of that person... You will feel very regretful about it and hope that time will turn around...

Why I suddenly write you asked??? The reason I write this is because base on the truth story about one of my friend... I feel very sorry about him... Sometimes time just not that right where u wanted to be...

Let's goes back to the last friday...

I was sitting in my office while waiting the time to past... Kindda boring tho when u have nth to do n need to show ur face at there... So, I was browsing on my Facebook... N suddenly I saw one of my friend status says that "RIP mom, you will be always in my heart... I'll do what you wish... I'll take care the rest... I love you mom..."

On that time I was like very surprise to see that he post this status up... Straight away I posted a comment in his post n ask "what happen bro???"... He didn't reply, so I go into his Facebook n look around to find what happen to him... What I saw was giving a shock... I read his status 1 by 1...

From what I understand is his mom was doing operation, when she came out from the operation room... She was already in coma situation... Her life was supported by the life supporting machine... My friend everyday go to the hospital visit her... The doctor tell my friend that they already did everything that they could to save her life... So, the hospital staff will wait for all of the family's member to visit her for the last moment n will turn off the life supporting machine... My friend visit her everyday n hopping she will have a miracle... He was hopelessly wait n feel useless that he couldn't do anything at all to help her...

On Friday evening, Around 6 something, all of their family's member arrive n the staff turned off the machine... She took her last breath n goes away... 

Truly it's very sad, that u see someone that u love the most pass away in front of your eyes, n u can't even do anything... 

U understand the feeling rite??? I understand the feelings, my heart was sore... I felt sorrow for the moment I read his status... I have the crystal clear water forming in my eyes and it's flow down to my chin... I didn't ask what's happen to his mom... Because the time was not right... 

Sunday is The Mothers Days... Why don't the doctor let's her survive until the mothers day pass??? I guess the doctor have their reason... Maybe it's TIME had come I guess...

Just now, when I was on my way back home after yum cha-ing at Bandar Utama al-safa... I saw a house, nearby my housing area is doing a funeral... Straight away it's reminds me of my friend... And what had happen to my friend who caught into an accident n passed away few years back ago...

That's why I posted this up... It's let me know what life is, and every person is important around me... This is my words to everyone...
      
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams."

Appreciate everyone around you and the person u love and care the most... Life is short, we did not know what will happen in the next few second later... 

R.I.P aunty...

Friday 6 May 2011

I'm Back~

At last I'm back to blogging... 

It's had been some times that i quit blogging and the worst part is i already forgotten my e-mail to login my old blog... It's a pain in the "arse" for me to create another new gmail for creating this new blog... well, i'm actually using my hotmail n live account for so long... it was like before facebook was created... so, how can u betray a mail that u had used so long??? lolz...

Why i came back u asked???

Good question!!! Because something inside me told me so and i miss blogging alot... lolz... just joking my friends...

Actually i also don't know what is the true answer... Well, after i quit blogging my life was turn 360 degree... I had a miserable life after all... Everyday i thought is a good day for me...ya... it's a good day rite... but for me.. it's not so...

Everyday i'm experience things, just like u guys did... sometimes i feel like wanted to express it all out but just can't find a way to split it all out... everything keep on compound together n it become bigger n bigger...

Ok, here is my life after quit blogging...

My relationship starting from "in a relationship into complicated, n then into single"... at that time i was trying to solve everything that i could... but at last it's just ended just like that... yep, i'm quite sad at that time... i was like almost becoming one of the zombies... my soul was gone somewhere far away n it  is more then 3 months... 

After that i just can't accept somethings that just happen to my family... For surely it was a bad news... 
My dad is having cancer... for me, it was like from the heights of mt.everest n falling down to the bottom of the ocean floor... i'm completely dead, my mind was like can't even think of anything... but thank god my aunt know a famous cancer doctor n make an appointment with him n my dad... the doc told my dad it's just in stage 2... The doctor suggested my dad to do radiotherapy n inject some light "kimo" once a week... At that time he was running his company n i was working for others... y lasttime i did't work with my dad u asked??? because i dosen't like to work in printing market... i was a dumbo lasttime... i changed my job alot... because i just can't stand the attitude of the bosses... lolz... funny rite??? i was been told by my mom that i go help my dad... but at that time i refuse... even she get some help from my ex... yep, lasttime my attitude really plays such a big problems... that's y my ex lefted me... and we r just friend now... =) you see... even i refuse n keep on avoiding, at last i'm still coming back to the starting point... n now my dad having this kindda sickness for sure i'm willing to help him... cos i dosen't wanted to see every single of his hard work just falling to the bottom of the ground... and i'm the only son who can help him... yep, i never think of this lasttime... because i was so stubborn... but only times can change someone... am i correct???

Oh ya, Thanks for ur concern... my dad was ok for now... he's doing radiotherapy for now... left 3 more weeks n done... hope that he will gain back his body immunity to those sickness... =)


A lot things had passed... after i break up, i can't eat well, slp well, play well, work well almost everything not going well... I still rmb on the Valentine day... one of my friend called me n asked me to join them for the single party night... i don't feel wanna go that time... cos i still feelings like an zombies n dosen't have any feelings at all... i scare that i will make them bored or so whatever... n some more the friend of mine is very close with my ex.... for sure she will asked her to go... "because she still single"... for sure that time i still missing her... so what for i go??? then there came a feelings told me that i should go... mayb i can get to know some pretty girls...

Well i went to that parties that night... what i not expected is i did't knew that bastard was invited to that parties also... Because of him, my ex lefted me... on that night i was so moody... i drink but can't drunk kindda suffering... but what's the happiest part is i knew some pretty girls~!!! yep, they i'm still in contact with them now... well... lets back to that night... at 1st i thought i was already recover from the painfulness... but nop... i realize that the pain didn't heal at all, it's just numb, that's all... after that night i keep on drinking every night... i wish that i could numb myself... after few days the beer dosen't help at all... on that time i'm starting think how to let go... but thanks to my friends... i'm all ok now... i'm already letting go everything... n i'm getting use to this new life...

But sadly my life seem like change a bit again... Still remember i say i knew some pretty girls on the Valentines single night parties??? yep... as what u expected... i fall in love with 1 of the girl... at 1st i was just helping my friend who wanted to chase her cos he felt the "love in 1st sight"... i have no intention at all... but helping was helping... soon i don't know where n when is this feelings starting to develop inside me... i was starting to confuse... it's my friend who wanted to chase her... but not me... n also i knew that the girls still missing her ex as much as lasttime i'm missing my ex... i understand the feelings... i thought i better just stay silence n let my friend go for her... but i just can't helped myself... everytime i saw her i feel so happy... everytime i sms & talk in phone with her i feel stress free... but i still remain silence... then, her sis starting to suspect something... that somethings is she can see that i'm in love with her... she asked me alot... den i keep on denine it... because i just dosen't want my friend to know it... but soon, more n more people starting to know something fishy about me... they keep on ask me n i was keep on denine-ing... one day i was so stress out because of my company... then they asked that question again... without thinking, i letting them know... that's where is my mistake starts... 

Day by day had passed... n then it's happends again... i'm almost bankrupt because my company did some wrong projects to one of my big customers... that time, my friend called me out for a drink... for the god sake, his call was such on great timing... after i went for a drink... i drink till i drunk... then the 2nd mistake begin... i called her n split it all out... (WTF i'm doing!!!) i was such a dumb(arse)... i shouldn't called her n tell her about this... but, i really did... after that night... our sms n phone call getting less n less... yep, i know this will be happen... thats y i keep on silence i dosen't wanted to let anyone know about it... but it's my mistake... Quite sad when i knew this... Now all i can do is to wait n see the situation... Of cos my friend who wanted to chase her dosen't know this yet... but if he dose know about it... just hoping he will forgive me for what i had did... Anyway, have a look at this...

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone n never find the courage to let the person know how you feel..."

Agree with it huh??? lolz... Sometimes life really can be so happening... Experience it n learn from it... And most of all, don't give up!!!  Wish me luck guys... and my dad too... We really need it...  =)

Thanks For Reading